A to Z, part 5

Here it is Jauna! Part 5. R through U.

R-Radio. For my 10-year-old birthday I got a Walkman, which was a big deal. It was a pink and white Casio with a snazzy black strap so I could carry it like a purse. It. Was. Awesome. I created my own radio station called K-A-T-Y! for which I sang and produced all the songs and even had commercials for products like Rubbermaid and breakfast cereal. It was a rather eclectic radio station with music that ran the gamut from primary songs like “I’m Trying to Be Like Jesus” and “Away in a Manger” to popular songs of the days for which I clearly did not know all the words such as “Ice Ice Baby” and “The Bartman”. I also sang parodies of holiday tunes such as “We Three Kings” and “Joy to the World” (cue music….Joy to the World, the School Burned Down, and All the Teachers Died…) and mesmerized my audience with all three verses of “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips (including the backup vocals). Following the fake fadeouts, I even served as my own critic saying such things as, “Wasn’t that amazing!” Amazing indeed.

S-Symbiotic Relationships. I’m all about symbiotic relationships. Everyone wins. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. It all works out. I had a roommate who hated taking the garbage out and didn’t mind vacuuming. I hate vacuuming but don’t mind taking the garbage out. Badda-bing-badda-boom: the birth of a beautiful symbiotic relationship and I didn’t have to touch a vacuum until I moved away. Everyone wins, indeed.

T-Twenty Questions. When my sister and I go on roadtrips together, to pass the time we play 20 ?’s. This isn’t the wimpy animal-vegetable-mineral-I’ve-figured-it-out-with-5-questions-version of 20 ?’s, though. This is the hardcore-it’s-gonna-take-50-miles-of-roadway-and-250-questions-and-I’m-pretty-sure-this-is-something-I’ve-never-heard-of-what-the-HECK-could-this-be??-version. Some of our best (and the ones that took the longest) have been: shrunken heads, drawstring, fidelity, and a sneeze. Some others that we thought would be hard, but turned out to be surprisingly easy were: dung beetle, gold plates, and Jesus.

(My sister and I, in the Badlands in South Dakota, on our way to Chicago in Summer 2007)

U-Unique. I learned awhile ago that my brain doesn’t always work the same way as other people’s brains. When the teacher broadcasts a question to a class, we all knowingly nod our heads and respond in unison, except that everyone else says one thing and I say something else. The first answer I have is often not the answer everyone else has. Why? I remember a memorable Institute class where the teacher had written the following statement on the board: “There is no such thing as a good _______.” I knew the answer. Of course. He read the statement and waited expectantly for the class to respond. I said “lie”, and the entire class, as one, turned and gaped at me. Apparently, the correct answer was “war”. Sure, that works too. But, he didn’t leave it at that. He went on to refute my claim that there is no such thing as a good lie (I still don’t think there is, despite his arguments. I think you can always be honest—and have TACT. You don’t have to lie.). I puzzled as to why this seems to repeatedly happen to me and I related the story to my brother. When I shared the statement with him, he responded, “Lie. There is no such thing as a good lie.” My mom responded the same way. Perhaps, we Cabbages are just hanging out on our oddball wavelength together. I think that’s it.