Welcome Aboard Flight 263 to....Chicago!

So, a few days ago I returned from a fabulous little excursion to Chicago with a friend. She was there to present a paper at a conference, needed someont to go with her, and being the kind person that I am, I consented to go. It was a real sacrifice. While we were there, we went to the top of the Sears Tower (which is now the Willis Tower, did you know that? I think it should still be called the Sears Tower, but no one asks my opinion on these things...), ate fabulous food, and saw Topol as Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof (but that's another story).

But, a first on this trip was flying on Southwest Airlines, which resulted in my first experience with "open seating".

On traditional flights with assigned seating, I usually request the window. I like watching the landforms change outside as I fly across the country and I like having the side of the plane to lean my head against while I nap.

Open seating is basically a first-come, first-serve seating system wherein those who board early take the window and aisle seats and those who board later (read: ME) are left to squish in the middle seat, much to the annoyance and irritation of aforementioned first-came, first-served folk. As those who board later (read: ME) climb over/on/in front of/around the aisle dweller, they are usually met with glares, much hmmphing from the annoyed passengers they have interfered with and are left to fumble for the seatbelt which is inevitably under the derrieres of said aisle/window seatmates. It’s not all that pleasant.

But, here’s the real reason for my post. On this trip of open-seating, I had a lot of time and reason to think about seatmate etiquette.

Observation #1. Had I to do it again, even though the row I happened to select was the exit row (score! More legroom!), I would be much more cognizant of the people between whom I am going to sit. In this case, it was two men—one middle-aged, the other slightly more middle-aged—who were engaged in a loud and monotonous conversation about used cars. The aisle guy was a used car salesman from whom the window guy was insistent on getting used-car-buying-tips for the entire flight. Leaning around me and talking loudly over the whirr of the airplane the entire flight. Comparing notes and quotes for the entire flight. I saw them engaged in conversation before I sat down, and although this should have been the cue to head for another row, I realized this all too late—namely, as soon as I had my seatbelt buckled.

Observation #2. I have strong opinions about armrest etiquette. Or, perhaps we ought to call it “armrestiquette” (ha! I love that idea…). Let me pose a scenario: if you were a person sitting in either the window or aisle seat, where you readily have two armrests at your disposal, would you kindly concede the shared armrest to the poor soul in the middle who has neither a window nor an aisle to stretch out/lean against/enjoy the flight? Of course you would. My seat buddies thought otherwise. Both of them had their piggy little arms firmly planted on both armrests for the duration of the flight. The entire flight.

Observation #3. Personal space, although limited in the confines of an airplane, should carefully be maintained. In relation to the armrestiquette issue, the guy sitting in the aisle seat had little-to-no personal space. In addition to hogging the armrest, his feet kept veering into my space, he kept digging in his bulging pockets which meant his knees/hips/elbows kept bumping into me and to top it off, he had unruly armhair that kept tickling my arms.

Observation #4. An adjunct of the previous observation, when on an airplane, the seat pocket in front of you is to stow your items such as books, mp3 players, and other personal devices. YOUR personal items. One of my seatmates (yep, the aisle guy), used his seat pocket AND my seat pocket for his garbage (which included his crumpled up used-car inventory lists he was sorting through to show the great deals to the window guy and his old newspaper) and more than one used-car quote book (how much stuff do you bring on a plane, anyway?).

Observation #5. The only people for whom open-seating is a bonus are privileged fliers (business class, premiere folks, etc. etc.) and those flying with children (although, to be honest, anyone flying with small children has my sincerest pity.). Because they get to board early, they have their pick of the airplane! The rest of us are left to fight for anything but the crappy middle seat, dreading that we will find ourselves next to a hairy-armed used car salesman who hogs the armrest.

Your next seatmate

(image courtesy: Swiftian on photobucket)